Proverbs 31 | "...she laughs without fear of the future"
That smile is a snapshot of a soul filled to the brim with an uncontrollable, uncontainable burst of joy. I remember you by your eyes. And by the idiosyncratic tilt of your head joining the breathless sound of your laughter. contagious. timeless. the best medicine. I suppose you can agree with the proverbial phrases. But you and I are remarkably fascinating. Too fascinating for our own good. Every day it strikes me strange that we can study the brain, with the brain. We can study cities, while a piece of a city. We can study preferences, by preferring economics to everything else. We can study politics, because of our politics. So the fact that I can remember your eyes, in a sea of all other sights, is a miracle with life-altering effects - not to be contained by a few clever adages. Your laugh sticks sharper in my mind than the concepts, questions, and concerns of the classroom.
Lately, I haven't had enough time to laugh. It would be strange to make an appointment for the quintessentially spontaneous. It would also be healthy to make time for moments of spontaneity. Days fly by because I urge them; and I fill them so heavy they cannot help but roll down hills, through valleys, and try - only try - to crest mountains, dragging me along for the ups and downs. Burdens are heavy because I do not let them go. Peaks are momentary: I can't seem to see the sun rise.
To sit and write these few inadequate sentences (just four months late) is to compel myself to remember what matters. Oh but fear of future of failure of fracturing quiets the laughter inside. Do not hide behind blank eyes. Joyless laughter is just machinated movement. I am asking you, and I am asking myself to face the future with laughter brimming as tears from these eyes.
Maybe then I could see the sunrise through glassy eyes.